A guide about being attacked by a ganker and not knowing what to
do before you realize the ganker is a level 80 Barbarian and he has
a personal Vendetta against you because you cracked off an uncalled
for mom joke in the newly created New Player Help chat which is not
even used for new player help because people decide to crack off mom
OR EVEN dad jokes in it because we like to show how large our
e-peens are so we can get e-girls which mostly turn out to be e-boys
and how to fight back.
THE BARBARIAN
I guess I should give a Barbarian description. Barbarians are a "I
rolled this class to piss you off" kind of deal. Whether it's a
perma-stun or just plain one-shotting, the Barbarian is a force to
be reckoned with indeed! There's no possible way to bring down a
Barbarian ganker as-of-yet, but I am working on some strategies!
Until then, you can follow some of these escape methods:
Step 1: Now, see that Barbarian that just attacked you? You have
many options on how to flee from the Barbarian. First, look around
you without stopping and look for a nearby water source. Do you see
any? If the answer is 'yes' then I would advise you to sprint into
the water and sit back at a far enough distance to type /shout NOOB
GANKER HELP ME! while still avoiding damage. If the answer was 'no'
to the above question then you only have two options:
Option 1: Let the Barbarian kill you and then use /tell -insert
Barbarians name- and send him threatening messages and how much more
skill you have than him and would kill him when you're his level and
put him on your KoS list.
Option 2: Zig-zag back and forth while avoiding damage and flee into
a nearby shack and spam 'H' until your character turns slightly
invisible. CONGRATULATIONS! You have entered hide mode successfully!
Now, make sure you do not walk into the Barbarians line-of-sight
because he will most likely be using Search to look for you because
he is desperate for that one kill on account of his not being able
to kill his own level.
Step 2: Get to level 80 and kill him.
THE NECROMANCER
The Necromancer is a very special class for a very special kind of
person. Usually a person that played a Warlock in World of Warcraft
and assumed that Necromancers would be the same. Well, they were
wrong and so are you for doubting your Necromancer ganker killing
skills! Here's what you can do:
Step 1: "Oh no! What just happened? Why am I taking damage?" This is
what I see in chat when a NECRO GANKZOR happens to be killing
people. Have no fear, though! Due to the gimpiness of the Necro
chances are you can win this fight! Now, run up to him and smack him
on the head with a two-handed weapon... if you don't have one you
can easily just put away any other weapon and uppercut him or
headbutt him and it's equally effective on the Necromancer. Now, the
Necro will be EXTREMELY disoriented and wish to re-roll because you
just smacked him across the face with your pimp-hands for 1,000
damage. This is not very uncommon. NOW, FAST! Run and hide in a
shack or behind a nearby tree. Once again, as before with the
Barbarian, SPAM H! This cannot be stressed enough and if you do not
have 'H' binded to 'Hide' then I would advise uninstalling the game.
Now, unlike the Barbarian, Search does not matter because the only
thing the Necromancer achieves from Searching for you is making you
visible which is not a problem as he is squishy and the hide is just
for the extra surprise. Run up to the Necromancer and one-two shot
him.
Step 2: Camp him and make him quit his class and re-roll into a
Barbarian. Refer to the Barbarian guide if he decides to get to
level 80 in under 2 seconds and come back for you.
THE RANGER
All I have to say is traps are annoying and unnecessary. They make
humans cry so many tears that we wish we were dead.
Step 1: WTFTRAPPAWNED but you break free with a mighty "ARGH" and
the Ranger runs off to hide. He comes back while you are tanking 6
mighty mobs of elite ownage and he hits you. You turn around and
lift your mighty sword and four-five shot him and lop off his head.
The Ranger comes back with a Necromancer. When he realizes that was
the most idiotic thing he has done he comes back with a Barbarian
and they triple finish you (It's Super Effective!)
Step 2: Ranger spawn camps you for by hitting you as soon as you
spawn so your regen is broken for 30 minutes until you log-off and
cancel your subscription
THE ASSASSIN
Now, the Assassin is probably the most under-looked class. This may
be because it's broken! But, alas, I have different beliefs about
the Assassin. I figure when you're level 20 and a level 80 Assassin
attacks you, your chances are a little less slim. That's okay, you
still have a 70% chance of winning the fight standing still with
your hands tied behind your back only using Rest. The Assassin is a
special case compared to the rest. You COULD compare the Assassin to
the Necromancer but alas! The Necromancer is a ranged caster class
so you cannot! However, you can compare the damage mitigation
because it seems more like the Assassin is wearing a thin layer of
skin for his armour. Now, here's what you want to do against the
Assassin:
Step 1: Look him in the eye and used your most broken skill/feat
that you decided to put points into not knowing it was broken. The
Assassin should now be at less than half health, perhaps even a
quarter. When I was testing out a Bear Shaman I decided to cast a
heal on the Assassin. The Assassin died shortly afterwards and I
laughed and sat on his body. This is perhaps the best way to take
out an Assassin. But, there are other ways! Make sure you never
'waste' your most powerful skill on the Assassin because this is
considered wasteful and unrequired. Not only will you get an
auto-fatality but you will have put your best skill on cooldown and
wasted Stamina/Mana. Honestly, I do not even need to make a write-up
on how to kill an Assassin as any deaf/blind/disabled person can
defeat one.
Step 2: Unrequired, he'll quit eventually.
Proposed amendment: After initial sneak attack by assassin (which
may or may not have scratched your armor or snagged your robes) do
the following:
1a. If Melee class: Turn, look at the assassin and give him / her
your best war face. This should immediately take the assassin to
half health. Hit once without using a cool down. Turn and walk away.
They will die from the back draft.
1b. If mana burner: Root in place.. walk away calmly. Toast to a
crisp at a safe distance. Or, if preferred, simply bake to a
delicate crunch.
(Follow these steps, they are more effective.)
THE BEAR SHAMAN
The Bear Shaman is honestly the class that makes me want to yell
"PISS-OFF" the most. No matter how much damage you deal to it, it'll
always live. You may as well just refer to the escape methods above
in the Barbarian section. Known for their SUPER IMBA TANK skills and
1337 HEALS the Bear Shaman will NEVER die. It upsets me, to be
honest.
Step 1: Don't bother fighting back, flee to the nearest water source
or instance jump. This is the most grand method and works the
greatest. I would advise instance jumping because the Bear Shaman is
fairly annoying and will most likely water camp you. Talk in guild
chat and advise your guild of the Bear Shaman camping you and they
will come, however, if you're stuck in the water and don't have a
baddie guild. If they say they are busy I would recommend using
'/guild leave' Don't ask what it does, just do it.
Step 2: Cry for a nerf on the forums. I know I will.
THE PRIEST OF MITRA
I scream, you scream, we all scream for non-stop AoE and CC. Oh
wait, NO WE DON'T! At least I don't. The PoM is known for his/her
ability to go around the forums and OOC claiming that they are not
over-powered and know how to play their class. This is false and you
should ignore all their senseless posts and recommend them to a
psychoanalyst. Everytime I see a PoM AoEing 10 mobs at once I 'Exit
Game' and realize how crappy my class is. Please ignore the Priest
of Mitra Aquilonian under my name, that is false. I am actually a
Necromancer and I am fairly bad. When I see priest classes dealing
more damage than me I /emote burning and just... I wish I didn't
roll Necro, you know?
Step 1: If the PoM gets the jump on you, run and 'Hide' They may be
amazing but they are really squishy if you can perma-stun them and
CC the crap out of them. Now, the PoM is searching for you, move
closer to him while still keeping out of his line-of-sight. Jump
him, totally rock him and when he starts casting 'Repulse' (which
they all do) throw out your first stun because after 'Repulse' he
will be using a Word of Life or whatever it is called. Don't ask me,
I don't play one. He'll get up and try and heal and I would advise
using a knockback or a fear if you have one. I know not all of the
classes out there have a CC option so you may as well not even try
and counter-gank if you don't have one. Chances are, if you keep
them stunned, they will lose.
Step 2: Attempt to spoil their regen and spawn-camp them because
they aggravate you and you want them to feel vengeance for trying to
gank.
THE TEMPEST OF SET
I honestly have no clue how to deal with this class. They always
surprise me with their casting times and the fact that they can aim
their CC and it's AoE. I'd assume that to deal with them you could
use the same method as you used on that filthy PoM that ganked you.
Step 1: This is a heavy nuker class. I want you to run circles
around them and make it so they can get off as little attacks as
possible. One time I was hit with some Lightning and I just
imploded. It was not funny, AT ALL! I just vanished and he laughed
like this was common. Is it common? I don't know! Anyways, circle
strafe around the ToS only stopping to use some knock backs or
stuns. Use as much white damage as possible and ignore those long
time-wasters that you call a 'combo' I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE A
CASTER! CIRCLE STRAFE AND SMACK HIM WITH A WAND OR THROW PIXIE DUST
ON HIM! God! The people I have to work with making this guide! I
believe that a ToS is a little harder to deal with on a 1v1 compared
to a PoM because of their instant heal and invulnerability. After
this dance he should be purty much dead.
Step 2: Start a petition about ToS and go on the forums under their
class section and just basically post a screen shot of the ToS lying
on the ground and you sitting on his/her face. Then message me and I
can go in the thread and have a good laugh for an hour. Then track
him down in real life and plant a bear trap in his bathroom. While
he/her is trapped, set their house on fire. (Not advised)
THE GUARDIAN
This is the 'Iron Wall' class, you can hit them but they can't hit
back. Well, they can, but it'll do 2 damage. You can out-potion that
pretty hard-core like. Anyways, they're pretty baddie now, I guess
Funcom decided to make them tanks.
Step 1. The mighty Guardian charges you and opens up with an
Overreach, which may as well be a back-scratcher now. You swat at
him like a mighty fly swatter coming down to meet it's poor,
innocent, victim. He takes 1 damage and hits you for 1-10. You use a
potion and laugh at the Guardian as he attempts to out-DPS your
potion. Hell, he can barely out-DPS your food and that's
out-of-combat regen. The Guardian cries and wonders why he lacks so
much DPS. He pulls out a Pole-Arm and pretends like he's a Barbarian
and circle strafes you while you're tanking 5 mobs that are 3-4
levels higher than you. He pops Frenzy and you turn around, 3-shot
him, and walk away with a giggle-snort held in your nose. Victory is
yours.
Step 2. Guardian cancels subscription, thus giving you the victory.
